I Am A Different Kind Of Girl

There is just over one month until my birthday which means it is time to start dropping hints about what I want for my birthday.  Most girls want a vacation, jewelry, shopping spree, spa day... Not me.  Nope, I am a different kind of girl.

I am the girl who embraces her nerdiness for food.  I am the girl who will go out of her way to try something new with food "just because".  I am the type of girl to buy vodka and fresh ingredients to make herself some homemade extracts (that post will make its appearance around the holidays, I promise).  So, of course that means that I am the type of girl who will ask for something a little different from her husband for her birthday.

What do I have on my shopping list this year:
1. A really big bag of expensive Expandex Tapioca Starch so that I can finally make some homemade gluten free bread.
2. The "Gluten Free on a Shoestring Bakes Bread" Cookbook (I have been waiting for this for months and just have not gotten around to buying it.
3. Candy Molds for both chocolates and hard candies.  (I have been making everything from butter creams, to toffees, to gummies, to marshmallows and nougatines, a candy made of sugar, egg whites, and some type of nuts,  for the the last 12 years.  I was even offered a job working with a Chocolatier simply on my butter creams. A job I turned down to be near family.)
4. Vanilla Beans, a lot of them.
5. Mason Jars, big and small.  Oh and cool spice jars so that I can blend my own spices.
6. Large bottles of GOOD vodka to make my extracts (and yes I mean the expensive stuff, no rot gut for these, but smooth vodka).
7. Good Chocolate for both making truffles and butter creams.
8. Chocolate Transfer Sheets, plastic sheets that have edible printing that, once the chocolate is placed over the top of the sheet and dries, will make gorgeous panels so that I can make Chocolate boxes to hold my homemade candies.
9. And last but certainly not least, a sausage stuffer and natural casings so I can play around with homemade link sausage and hot dogs.

Do you notice the distinct lack of the normal girl stuff on this list, no jewelry, no clothes, no spa days.  Just different things that will let me continue to play with my food.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  At least not today.

I Am Not Lazy, I Simply Use Time Economically

I am a little jealous of people who can buy meals from the stores that are pre-made or prepped ahead for a quick or easy dinner.  Ironically, I am jealous of the same people who wish they had the time to make dinner from scratch and not have to buy the pre-made or convenient food.  The fact is, this is a grass is always greener situation.  I want the convenience meals but I can't buy foods that my family I can't eat, while others want the homemade food that I feed my family without spending the time they may not have making it.  What do you do?  Well, I don't know about you, but I try to find a way to have both.

There is a misnomer that just because I have gone to culinary school, that means I do everything long, complicated way.  Well, that simply is not true.  To quote an ex-boss "if I can find a way to make something quicker and easier without ruining the integrity of the food or the final product, I am going to do it".  That pretty much sums up how I look at cooking.

Like, I have said before, I am a busy Mom who likes the idea of convenience food, I just don't like the way that big brands make it.  Besides there are several health concerns in my family which make some of these meals impossible to serve to us.  So after my big monthly shopping, I make my own convenience foods.  Ones devoid of preservatives, gluten, excess carbohydrates, too much sugar or salt, or any thing I don't want my family eating.  They are convenient foods made with real product at the ready whenever I need them.  How do I do this?

I do this three ways:
1. I make freezer meals.  When I say freezer meals I mean the meals are either completed and just need to be reheated, such as a casserole, or everything is combined in one Ziploc bag or container and just needs to be cooked, usually in a slow cooker or oven. (Like my Chili or my Orange Chicken).

2. I also do what I call frozen prep.  These are not meals but are actually components of a meal that are uncooked but are prepped to the point of cooking, usually I even put them in disposable aluminum pans so that I can just put them straight in the oven (I get all of mine at The Dollar Store and they save me so much time on clean up, it is worth the extra $20 a month on pans, tin foil, and plastic wrap).  These may be main courses or side dishes but they are not full meals ready for a final heat.  These usually need things added.  This also includes "kits" I keep in my freezer, which simply means meals that have all the ingredients in one place but still need to be cooked. (For example my "Spaghetti and Meatball Kit" will include fresh or dried pasta, a package of homemade precooked meatballs, a package of my homemade sauce, and a packet of fresh grated Parmesan (because my daughter will eat all of the cheese if it stays in the refrigerator)).

3. I make my own packaged mixes.  Pancake mix, muffin mix, cornbread mix, cake mix are all made at the beginning of the month by combining all the dry ingredients and placing them in storage bags for my later convenience.  I will place each single batch in a quart zip top bag label them, then place all of one kind of mix in a large bag with a card that has directions of what to add and how to cook.  Now I have my own baking mixes ready to go.

I know this sounds like a lot of work, and it is, but I have found ways to cut back on time so I can do a months worth of cooking over three days, only cooking about 4-6 hours a day.  The rest of the month I have delicious, nutritious meals waiting for me that work into my time schedule (or lack there of).

I haven't completely figured out how to do Mock Rice A Roni or Hamburger Helpers yet, but I have found a company that sells dried products and powders that don't have any of the things on my "NO" list, so those are not out of the realm of possibility.  I will let you know.

(And yes I plan to show you how I do all of this but that has to wait for my big shopping trip on the first.)

When I want Eggos...

...I usually want them simply for the convenience of them.  Admit it waking up in the morning and throwing them in the toaster for a quick breakfast can make the morning that much smoother (or for when you don't know what to have for dinner). However, I don't like Eggo waffles, I never have.  What I do like is the idea and convenience behind the toaster waffle.

Me Keeping It Real

So of course, I took it back to basics.  I made my favorite waffle batter (mine is from scratch (and gluten free) but use your favorite waffle batter whether it is homemade, Bisquik, or a box waffle and pancake mix). Then I cooked my waffles and laid them flat, single layer on a parchment paper lined (or wax paper if the waffles aren't too hot) cookie sheet to cool.  Then I freeze the entire pan.  Once they are frozen I transfer them to a gallon size freezer zip top bag.  Now, I just keep them in the freezer for those moments when I need a quick breakfast.  I just put them in toaster and in minutes hot waffles.

My Homemade Toaster Waffles

Here is my favorite gluten free waffle recipe, if you would like it:

Confession of a Food Nerd's Gluten Free Waffles

2 cups gluten free all purpose flour (I use a mock flour blend created by www.glutenfreeonashoestring.com.  This one is her Better than cup4cup flour blend)

1 tsp xanthan gum (omit if flour blend already contains it, which mine does)

2 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp baking powder

2 cups milk

4 eggs

1/4 cup oil

1 tsp vanilla

In a medium bowl, mix together dry ingredients.  in a different bowl mix together wet ingredients.  Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix to combine, batter will be slightly lumpy.  Let set for 10 minutes.  Now you are ready to make your waffles. 

Tip:  For easier and less messy waffle making, transfer batter to either a pitcher or a liquid measure cup with a spout. Now it is easy to pour, just wipe off the spout with a napkin between pours. 

The Gourmet Burger Without The Cost

Time for another confession:  I LOVE a good gourmet burger.  I do.  I would go to Red Robin (yum!!!) every day, except for the fact that I can't afford it.  Oh and I can't eat ground beef and it is difficult to find a good chicken burger (not a sandwich, a burger. There is a difference), not to mention it is hard to get gluten free food options out.  If it weren't for all that I would be there when they opened for lunch everyday.

But since that just isn't feasible, I have to find another way to enjoy a gourmet burger.  My local grocery store's meat counter makes some fancy  burger patties with ingredients like bacon and bleu cheese or jalapeno and cheddar cheese mixed in with the meat.  Sadly they only make beef burgers (why is it always beef?) and they are about $4.99 a lb on sale (and the burgers are almost a half lb each, so that would mean it would be $12.50 or more for each person in my family of five to get one burger. And that is the price just for the meat). So, I had pretty much given up on my dream of a gourmet burger I can eat.

Knowing my dilemma, my husband suggested I make my own.  After some searching through my refrigerator, freezer, and pantry it was decided I would make a Jalapeno Queso Chicken Burger (well jalapeno for my husband, the kids and I are wimps and had Queso Fresco Chicken Burgers).

I assembled my ingredients (ground chicken, queso fresco, jalapeno, garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper) and got to work.  It was really easy, I just put it all in a bowl, mixed it together and formed it into patties.  Simple.

Ingredients Assemble:
Grated Queso Fresco, Ground Chicken,Spices, and Grated Jalapeno
(It is only a quarter of the recipe in this picture).

My next step was to heat up my grill (have I ever mentioned that I love having an indoor electric grill.  I can grill whenever I want without needing charcoal, propane, or to socialize with my neighbors).  I set my temperature to 400 degrees Fahrenheit and let it get nice and hot (because of the cheese, I wanted to get a nice crust on the outside.)  After about 15-20 minutes (7-10 minutes on each side) they were done.

Getting Thier Grill On:
Jalapeno Queso Chicken Patty on top, Plain Queso Patty on the bottom

I wish I had tomato, lettuce, and onion to finish to add to them, but my son ate all the tomatoes and my daughter made herself a salad yesterday finishing off my lettuce and onion, oh well.  I served it with "green bean fries" (as my children call them), which are just frozen green beans I through on my indoor grill and drizzled with olive oil then sprinkled with salt and pepper.

My Gourmet Burgers in All There Glory:
Queso Chicken Burger (opened on left) and Jalapeno Chicken burger (on right beneath the Queso Burger)
with Green Bean Fries

These were so good.  And can you imagine with what I can do the next time I want a gourmet burger.  How about a buffalo chicken burger with bleu cheese and hot sauce inside the chicken patty.  Or a Chili Verde burger with green salsa in a pork patty, maybe with the a little pepper jack cheese thrown in.  How about a turkey burger with minced (uncooked) bacon added to the meat before cooking (the fat from the bacon will keep the turkey from drying out while cooking, plus the flavor will be phenomenal).  With all of the cheeses, vegetables, meats, and sauces available, the possibilities are endless.

So, don't be held down by having plain beef burgers.  Be creative, have fun, and make an awesome gourmet burger of your own. (Try it with cooked bacon, ground beef, and a little hard apple cider along with the spices.  It will blow your mind).

Confession of a Food Nerds (Jalapeno) Queso Chicken Burgers

1 lb ground chicken
6 ounces grated queso fresco cheese (I never know when I need queso fresco, so I freeze mine after I buy it then let it defrost slightly before grating.  This caused it to crumble pretty finely, which is find for what I needed it for)
1-4 ounces jalapeno grated (this is optional and depends on how spicy you like it.  I left it out of mine and my children's but put 2 ounces in my husbands 8 ounces of chicken.  I just used a box grater to grate my jalapeno, seeds and all)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. black pepper

Preheat a grill, grill pan, heavy bottom saute pan or skillet. Mix all ingredients together, this may take a bit and when it is done it will resemble a fatty ground beef (but it is chicken and cheese, yum).  Portion into 4 patties (these will be about 5-6 ounce patties).  If pan or grill is not nonstick, lightly grease by putting oil on a paper towel and, while using a pair of tongs, grease your grill or pan.  Add your burgers and let sit for 7 minutes or until a nice golden brown. DO NOT MOVE THEM UNTIL THEY RELEASE THEMSELVES FROM THE PAN, you want a crust or grill marks to form. (If you are using a grill or grill pan, and you want those pretty hash marks turn your patties 45 degrees and cook for 3 -4 more minutes).  Flip your burgers and let cook until you reach an internal temperature of 165 degrees, about 7-10 more minutes (remember you want a nice crust on them, and if you want hash marks to turn your patties 45 degrees).  Let set 10 minutes before serving.  (These would be awesome on buns I just didn't have any).
                                                                    

I Feed Five People On How Much?

I read an article the other day that told how much money Michelle Dugger (19 Kids and Counting) spends each month on groceries for the 21 of them*.  Once you break down the the rather large number of $3000, it turns out she spends $35 per person per week. That is $5 per person per day. The article then went on to describe how she is able to do it.  (I don’t really remember the rest of the article because my thoughts started going in a different direction).

This got me thinking, if I break down our budget into weeks by person, how much money am I spending on food for my family of 5?  The answer is (drum roll please) an amazing $24 a week per person, that equates to $3.43 a day.  Yeah I couldn't believe it either (it is amazing what you can get on a food budget of $480 a month), and we do this while eating gluten free.  So I started thinking about how I am able to do it.  This is what I do:

The view inside my
5 gallon rice bucket

1. I buy in bulk, a lot.  In fact Sam’s Club has this really handy service called “click and pull” where I can shop online for exactly what I need (without the spur of the moment splurges) and pick it up and pay for it in store.  This service is free to all members and it saved me a whole lot of time and money (because I could pass up those people selling caramel popcorn and those really good sausages that temp me to buy).
2. I buy my grains and sugar in 25 lb bags and I store them in large 5 gallon buckets that I got from the bakery of my local grocery store for almost free (all I had to do was ask). 
3.  After I buy in bulk, I separate everything for throughout the month.  This often means grating cheese and freezing it in 8 oz packages (and this is why I love my food processor) or separating my own pork loin into chops, roasts, and for grinding (which yes I do on my own).  It also means separating or “breaking down” whole chickens into parts, using the bones to make some stock or “bone broth” in my Crock pot or slow cooker.
4. Instead of buying ham, sausages, or precooked meatballs I make them myself using my fresh meat and a bunch of seasonings, then portion them and freeze for later.
5. I grind my own flours: rice, brown rice, oat…  The only ones I don’t mess with is tapioca flour (it is less expensive to just buy the flour) and potato starch.  Then I use these to mix my own flour all purpose gluten free flour blends.
6. I don’t buy my gluten free snacks.  I make my own crackers, cookies, and cakes.  This saves me SO much money. 

   

   mmm, Cookies

7. Since my food money comes at the beginning of the month, I shop all at once.  This means I will buy frozen vegetables for the second part of the month when all my fresh is gone.  Now I know you are thinking, why do I only shop once a month?  Well that is because if I shop for only what I need for the week, my son will go through it in a few days. Then I am at the store spending more money, and more money.  Suddenly I have 20 days left of the month and no money for food.  By buying it at the beginning of the month, portioning it, and placing it in the freezer I have now guaranteed myself food later in the month.  Sure it is a lot of work for two or three days, but not only do I have meal size portions for 5, I have already done much of my prep so dinner is actually faster.
8. I buy all my produce fresh from a local produce stand.  The quality is good and the cost is less then my local supermarket.  Don’t get me wrong I would love to buy fresh produce every couple of days. If I had the extra $11 per person a week I would get my produce often, but I don’t, so I make do with what I have without arguing.
9. As much as I wish I could use coupons, I don’t (or at least not very often).  I do not buy enough items at the regular store to really justify the amount of money saved with the time I would spend cutting coupons.  I do, however, pay much attention to store ads.  That is where I get quite a bit of savings. (Oh and buying store brands).
10. I have detailed lists of what I am going to buy and where.  When I go shopping it is all about the lists. I go through my stores weekly ads and write a list of sale items and where to find them.  Then I write a list of all the food I will need for the month, especially all my staple pantry items.  After that I divide it by store (I even try to put the list in order of store) and give each store a budget based on what is on each stores list.  Is this a little extreme, perhaps (and yes I hand write all my lists). However, I find that if I have a detailed list with a set amount that I am allowed to spend per store, I am more likely to not go over or buy impulsively. And I am then very aware of my budget.

the lists that I use monthly for shopping

Now I know this system does not work for everyone.  And I know that most people do not go to the amount of trouble I go to, but that is what I do so I do not have to feed my children Hamburger Helper (not that there is anything wrong with that, I just cannot eat it).  That is why I am a nerd of food and I do what I do, for my family.

*If you would like to read the article that started it all, here it is:  http://thestir.cafemom.com/food_party/172192/michelle_duggars_monthly_grocery_bill

Let's Discuss My Pantry

Alright, confession time (and this may be a long confession), I don’t make EVERYTHING from scratch.  But I do make most things from scratch.  The few things I do buy canned and premade, I have very good reasons for.  Let me explain them shall I.

My son eats tomatoes like candy.  No, he really does.  I can go through 10 lbs of tomatoes is under a week (I have seen it happen), and while this is much better for him then candy, it is horrible on my budget (remember no garden).  So, unless tomatoes happen to be on a reduced sell rack or in a bargain bin where I can buy lots of overripe tomatoes for pennies, it is not cost effective for me to make my own tomato sauce completely from scratch (besides the tomatoes would never make it to a sauce anyway unless they were deemed soft or icky by my son).  Unfortunately, I am not always able to find tomatoes in a bargain bin; this is where the canned tomatoes come into play.  I do not use canned tomato sauce, and unless I am making Spanish shrimp or ketchup, I do not use tomato paste, what I use is crushed tomatoes in puree and diced tomatoes in juice (never stewed, my husband does not like them).  Why don’t I use the whole tomatoes?  I am just lazy enough to not want to have to deal with cutting them.   Don’t get me wrong, they are a great product, I just don’t want to spend extra time cutting them when I don’t have to.

I buy all my condiments.  Sure I could make my own mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and pickle relish, but why would I want to.  (Okay I do make my own ketchup, but for the day to day “gotta have it on my hot dog”, I will go for the bottle every time.  Hey, don’t judge.)  Mayonnaise is fairly easy to make, but because of the raw egg yolks in homemade mayonnaise, I prefer to give my children the stuff in the jar.  I am not going to make mustard from scratch (I have had to make hot Chinese mustard too many times to want to try to make my own mustard.  Nope, just point me to the yellow bottle).  I will make my own relish if I have to as I only like the dill; but once again, I am lazy enough to spend the couple of dollars it takes to buy the jar.  Barbecue sauce is negotiable.  If I have the ingredients at home and I am making ribs or chicken (or I want to make a cranberry barbecue sauce), I will make some fresh.  If it is just for dipping chicken strips into, seriously I will just hand you which ever bottle I just bought on sale.

Other items that I buy already done for me is pickles and olives (because seriously, unless I find cucumbers on a really good sale it is cheaper to just buy pickles and I don’t have an olive tree to make my own olives), canned tuna (for sandwiches), ground coffee (because if I had beans I would never grind them.  I am being completely honest here), evaporated and condensed milk, canned kidney beans and canned pinto beans (I have the dried versions of both but some days I don’t have time to cook them.  I only buy the Sun Vista brand (if I can) and only the whole beans) and jars of salsa (my husband prefers jarred, so, less work for me).  

Oh and potato chips, pork rinds, corn tortillas (because with the amount we eat, it is easier to go to a store that makes them fresh everyday), soda, and frozen fruits and vegetables (for when I run out of my fresh). And I never make my own yogurt (we just don’t eat enough of it to bother) and cottage cheese.  I also keep a backup container of stock in my pantry although I prefer to make it myself. Everything else (soy sauce, Worcestershire, grains, sugar, vinegar, spices…) are all considered regular pantry items that I need to make things (besides I would never try to make some of that stuff anyway).

I may be a nerd, but I am not stupid.  If there is an easier, less expensive yet equally good product, I will buy it.  Let’s face it I am still a busy Mom, who doesn't have all day to cook, no matter how much I want to, so yes there are things that I do purchase premade.  Things that you WONT find in my pantry, however, are hamburger helper, macaroni and cheese (although you will find the ingredients to make it), rice a roni or pasta roni, canned enchilada sauce (why when it is so easy to make and tastes better homemade), frozen pizzas (unless I made them myself), frozen burritos, frozen potpies, TV dinners, frozen casseroles (again, unless I make them myself), or anything else that has as many preservatives in it as ingredients. 

See, I don’t make everything from scratch (I still haven’t figured out how to do bacon) but I do make a lot of what we eat that way.  (And to answer the question I was once asked by my neighbor, yes I own a can opener, 3 to be exact.)

*All of these items came directly out of my cupboard and I am in no way affiliated with any of them (just don't want to get busted by some company).

Okay, So How Did You Make That Ham Anyway?

So are any of you thinking that?  I thought so.  Here is another picture of it for those of you who missed it.

Mmm, fresh cured pork loin

To start with I looked online at what types of meat I should use for a ham.  Then, I looked through several cookbooks on what I should use to cure it.  Then, I threw all of that out the window and did it my own way.

I don't own a smoker.  I didn't have money or time to find the "pink" curing salt or the spices needed.  I didn't have the cut of meat they wanted me to use.  I had table salt, various dried spices, whole pork loin I was cutting into chops, and a determination to make my own ham. (Sorry I don't have pictures of everything I used, I will do that next time.  I didn't realize this was going into a blog.  I didn't even know I had a blog).

I briefly glanced at a Canadian bacon recipe (which is a smoked, cured pork loin), then decided to go my own way.  (Hey I cook good, I never claimed to cook authentic.)  I threw this and that in a pot, brought it to a boil, let it cool then poured it over my pork loin, which was in a Ziploc (I left the fat on but I did cut about half of the meat off the bottom, next time I won't.  Cut the meat down I mean, I loved the fat cap on it).  Then I let it sit in my refrigerator for three days, turning it over each day.  After that I just cooked it on a rack over a cookie sheet in a 200 degree Fahrenheit oven until an internal temperature of 150 degrees Fahrenheit was reached (I can't tell you exactly how long yours will take as it depends on the thickness of your meat, but my 3 inch tall pork loin took 1 hour an 20 minutes or so).

The hard part was letting in cool enough to cut.



Food Nerd Fresh Cured Pork Loin (I call it ham)

1 -2 lb pork loin roast (or you can use 1 1/2 inch loin chops, just don't brine longer 6 hours before cooking)
4 cups water
1 cup sugar
1 cup salt
3/4 cups honey
2 bay leaves
1 1/2 tsp cracked pepper corns
1 tsp Hungarian paprika
1 Tbsp garlic powder
1 Tbsp onion powder
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cloves
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke (if you like more smoke use it)

Put all ingredients except pork in a pot to boil.  Simmer for 10 minutes.  Let cool to room temperature.  Put pork in a Ziploc or storage bag and pour brine over the top.  Seal removing as much air from the bag as necessary.  Place in the refrigerator for 3 days turning each day (if you are using loin chops, turn twice.  Don't brine for longer then 6 hours).  At the end of the three days remove from liquid and place on a rack over a cookie sheet or roasting pan (roast will look dried out on edges, almost like jerky and feel a little stiff).  Roast LOW at 200 degrees until an internal temperature of 150 degrees Fahrenheit is reached (time depends on thickness).  Let rest at least 30 minutes before slicing.  FOR CHOPS:  Loin chops can be roasted as roast, pan seared then finished in the oven, or grilled.  Do not over brine chops they are much thinner then roasts.  Treat the brine more as a marinade then an actual cure.

Welcome To My Grand Experiment

I am a nerd, a food nerd, a big one.  I go out of my way to make everything from scratch.  What do I mean by everything?  I have been known to grind my own flours and meats,  I make my own sausage, and have even cured a pork loin so I can enjoy fresh ham.  

I don't however have a garden, own chickens, or raise pigs or cattle (I am pretty sure my apartment manager wouldn't like me very much if I did).  

I cook in a way I enjoy for my families and loved ones, and I don't expect anyone else too.  However, I will share my stories and recipes for those of you that might. 

I went to culinary school and worked in several restaurants (okay 3, but I was there for at least 3 years each) before becoming a stay at home mom.  Oh, how I miss it though.  I miss giving tips or showing others easier ways to do things. I miss talking food and answering cooking questions.  I have a wealth of knowledge and nowhere to channel it.  Until now.  

So hit me with questions, stories, or even a family recipe you would like to "nerd down", email me at confessionsofafoodnerd@gmail.com and I will see what I can do.

Until next time, thank you for visiting.